hilarious YOUTUBE find of the week: a fabulously skanky, yet immensely entertaining satirical rendention of fergies "my humps" by alanis morrisette. complete with 80's looking men with moleste-aches, louis vuitton hats, and chains who hang around a junker convertible and oogle alanis's goodies...dont worry...there is also a lot of fog and close up shots of "bling," and the sound quality is fantastic.
its simply too entertaning to pass up...so take a look!!
a free second to update xanga? rare...i actually almost forgot how to do this...i was searching around for the "new entry" button for a few seconds...i actually dont even know why i do this. its not like anyone reads it, i think there is just something relaxing for me about writing...honestly. ive actually been thinking lately that id like to write an opinion column or something like that for a newspaper...for a career, i mean. i dont know...
my life as of late? a whirlwind. its been lovely. a beautiful kalidescope of mandatory meetings and classes and dance rehearsals and papers and books to read, coupled with laughter, and fun, and randomness, and spontaneity, and a whole lot of grace and love and growth and refinement.
last night the aggie mens basketball team defeated louisville to go on to the sweet sixteen. [gig 'em]. we were there to welcome in the team at the airport at midnight, and managed to sneak in a picture with head coach, billy gillespie.
we went to rosemary beach, fl again last week for spring break. another delightful trip with amazing friends.
its over and im relieved. i mean, lets be honest...it hasnt been like the most amazing semester ever. its been hard and ive been broken. but ive also been refined. i am not the same girl that i was a year ago...or even at the beginning of the fall semester.
so ive not posted since september. thats because (like i posted back in sept.) i pretty much became a recluse. i felt like the Lord had called me to a period of singleness and solitude. i only hung out with the same 6 girls and never hung out with any boys. how amazing that was. it was really really amazing to see the Lord place girls in my life who are like-minded and struggling with the same things. 6 girls that prior to this semester i didnt know all that well have become my rocks and my family. i have become so close with them and i am so thankful for the Lords constant provision in my life.
i think just being in that place taught me so much. i really have so many thoughts in my head that i want to type out that i cant even clear my mind to make sense of them all. my life has changed so dramatically and i have grown and matured so much, its almost unreal to look back at who i used to be.
the other night we had an incredible "all-worship" night at a really cool place called the "palace" which is an outdoor theatre in downtown. it was really cold and there were tons of people there, all bundled up in puffy coats and cute scarves and mittens, sipping on hot chocolate. very christmasy i might add. we sang one of my favorite new songs called "alabaster jar" which talks about breaking all we have of worth at the feet of the Lord. i sat down on the cold concrete, still surrounded by people all standing around me singing loudly, and just began to meditate on the characteristics of the Lord. i thought about what i have of worth to offer to the Lord...what do I really have besides this life I live...and have I wholeheartedly been offering that to the Lord these past few years? the next song we sang was about surrenduring our future hopes and dreams to the Lord. im telling you...the next four or five songs went straight to my heart...the Lord was definnitely tugging on my heart and calling me to make some changes. as i sat on the freezing cold ground, staring at my own breath everytime i exhaled, it just hit me. *ephiphany* my sweet savior died on the cross for me so that i could have a personal relationship with him, so that i could have salvation and be in heaven. i love the Lord and i have experienced the redemption that comes with that. if i were to die tomorrow, i should be satisfied. Jesus did NOT die on the cross so that i could live a comfortable life. so that i could be married and have three kids and drive them to soccer and ballet in my tahoe and live in suburbia, america. simple and true? YES. taken me 21 years of my life to accept and become real? Most Definitely! For the FIRST TIME in my life, on December 8th 2006, I could wholeheartedly admit to the Lord that I was ok with whatever he had planned for my future. Married-ok. Single-also ok. I want to be used for the Lords glory and if he can use me better when I am single and unattached...so be it. Im not afraid to say that anymore...yes in my flesh its going to be a daily struggle to honestly be content with being single...but when I am walking with the Spirit and continually surrendering my life, hopes, wants, dreams, wishes, needs, desires to him...then and only then can I be completely content with the path the Lord is taking me down.
the Lord has always been so present in my life but I feel like I am just now showing up. everything has just become even more real to me. being HONESTLY ok with whatever happens in my future is so freeing. i am free. i have experienced true freedom...and its beautiful.
and this whole semester has been a beautiful struggle. this life i lead is crazy...but im refined. and while it was rough, it was also beneficial. and so i am thankful....and i end yet another semester in awe of the works of our great Lord.
my bedroom is upstairs and the side window has a great view of the A&M campus (we are only a few block away from campus, its great) when i open the blinds at night the lights from campus shine right onto my bed, making my comforter change shades of blue. it is 1:09 am and it is raining and lightening. my roommate and her sister are downstairs watching a movie and the song "thinking over" by Norah Jones was faintly audible from my bedroom. for a split second i felt like i was in new york city...i closed my eyes and pretended my second story bedroom was actually a loft and the campus lights were lights from time square. (p.s. for my birthday my parents got me an apple laptop, pretty sweet and such a blessing, i know...so anyway, its nice to be able to sit in my bed and type on my computer) i am ready friends, ready for NYC.
oh goodness, the Lord is doing something huge in my life. i, obviously, dont quite know what that is yet...but its real...and its good. its a rough time in my life, but its going to be beneficial. i am being refined and tested. i can honestly say this period of my life has been harder than anytime else. i truly believe the Lord has called me to a time of solitude. i have gracefully bowed out of dancing (a.k.a. quit my dance company, which has been a huge ordeal and a massive heartbreak) my best friend moved to dallas for seminary and my other best friend/roommate has a boyfriend that she spends all of her time with. i am still president of asc until december...but it has been amazing to see how the Lord has orchestrated all of these things in my life to align with the work that He is doing in my heart. i love people...and normally re-charge by being in large groups....however, i really feel like this semster the Lord desires for me to pull away from all of this and spend quality time drawing near to Him. i got off facebook and basically cut out all things that waste my time. its been hard, but i feel like i am being prepared for something big. its hard to explain through xanga obviously, but this is huge...and weird...and exciting...but a little scary and definitely hard. ive probably cried more in the past month than ever in my life....i dont cry.
enough about that. man i just love typing out my thoughts. actually being able to seem them in black and white. who reads these? like no one...but sometimes it just feels nice to send out my heart into this cosmic void.
